1. You could spend every minute of every day picking up, cleaning, vacuuming and swiffering and the house would still look like a bomb went off.

2. While you're picking up the bucket 'o soldiers your 2 year old threw all over the house, he's emptied all the books off the shelf in the next room and stuffed the entire toilet roll down the toilet.

3. You can't even get a minute alone in the bathroom. If you lock the door, they just pound on it until you relent.

4. You're full of joy when your 2 year old starts talking... But then he never stops. Ever. And you feel horrible for wanting him to just be quiet for one minute.

5. Your husband comes home from work to find you still not showered, with dinner not made, breakfast dishes still in the sink, the laundry waiting to be folded, the kids fighting over the play guns they got at the Stock Show and promptly broke, and has the gall to ask, "What did you do all day?"

6. You let your 5 year old play Wii Star Wars and he figures out how to use YouTube on your iPad to get to level 5, and you realize (a) you'll never get your iPad back, and (b) your 5 year old is more technologically apt than you are.

7. Your day is broken into 22 minute increments, because that's how long one episode of Dora the Explorer lasts.

8. All the activities you pack into your day to wear them out? Yeah, you're just endurance training them.

9. All you want to do at the end of the day is watch the Kardashians Take New York. Cause in their trashy way, they make you feel a little less guilty for nagging at your husband. Even the Kardashians nag.

10. You find out that your friends with little girls are baffled by the things your boys do... Little girls can play nicely, and quietly, and they don't draw on the couch with Sharpies, or pull the curtain rod out of the wall, or cut Raggedy Ann's foot off with a pair of scissors, or pour water over their books, or dip your iPhone into the toilet.

11. To prove my point, as I'm writing this, I'm watching my boys pummel the floor, walls and doors with hockey sticks.