I don't know why we need to be reminded of this, but really, folks, you should never ask a woman when she's due, even if she's wearing a t-shirt with flashing lights saying "Baby on Board."

Here's a clue: at 5 to 6 months along, we women look pretty pregnant. In my case, really, really pregnant, like a volleyball is stuffed under my shirt.

But at 6 months, that means we still have 3 more months to go. In that 3 months, chances are good that we're just going to get bigger. In my case, that volleyball will turn into a basketball.

Variations on the theme aren't really acceptable either.

Yesterday, the grocery checkout lady told me my face was starting to fill out, and when was I due? Embarassed, I had to admit, "Not for a few more months."

Today, a neighbor's husband asked, "So you must be about three weeks out?"

"I wish," I smiled.

I once witnessed a friend of mine, who had a one-month old baby in plain view, get asked this question. "Yeah, a month ago," she replied tartly, pointing to the stroller.

It's sufficient to just say, "Congratulations," or "Bet you can't wait," or "You look great."

Just please, don't make me count how many more weeks I have to go.