Have you seen the Colorado Tourism Office's new campaign -- just in time for the DNC, y'all -- called "Let's Talk Colorado?"

Now, I'm a native, born and raised in Colorado, third-generation, both sides of the family, and I don't say things like "She's a peak-bagger" or "I've got a case of the grindies in my drivetrain," nor have I ever heard anyone use those phrases.

And I own a road bike but I've never called my helmet a "Brain bucket," I've never heard of a "rattler cake" (Colorado's version of a crab cake, apparently, made with rattlesnake... that sounds kind of Texas to me), nor have I ever heard anyone utter the words "Hold on to the chicken line." And I met my husband on a white water rafting trip.

I have heard of a singletrack ("Dude! It's a narrow biking trail just wide enough for one cyclist!") back in my college days in Boulder, which was a pretty long time ago. But really, enough with the Rocky Mountain Oysters. The Fort is the only place that serves them.

So I wondered where on earth this Colorado glossary came from, and found out: it's a $19 million campaign conceived by MMG Worldwide, who has a small branch office in Fort Collins, but is headquartered in... Kansas City.

Glad my tax dollars are being spent on this embarrassing campaign.