Dear Britney,

Rumor has it that you are moving to Cherry Creek. Or one of your boyfriends/drug counselors is moving here. Or something.

Good choice. Denver is out of all the hubbub of LA. We don't have any papparrazzi here and we have lots of Starbucks, and we're totally a car town.

I imagine you'll be a little lonely when you get here, and probably needing something to do with the tater tots, so I'd like to extend the invitation to join us here in Stapleton for a play date. My son is just around the age of your boys. I'm sure they'd get along great.

Why don't you join us next Monday for the Super Dog matinee at the Stock Show? If you've never seen sheep dogs performing their antics before, well.... it's like a little slice of heaven.

Maybe we misunderstood or jumped to conclusions, but the offer is open anytime.