Forget about Rachael Ray and Martha Stewart.

Pioneer Woman, an Oklahoma cattle ranching self-proclaimed desperate housewife, breaks it down, step by step, pictures and humor included -- from brining the turkey, to making perfectly creamy mashed potatoes, to sensual butternut squash puree.

Head over to The Denver Post's Turkey Taste Test to see which birds -- fresh, frozen, organic -- won the taste test.

You can order a Red Bird fresh turkey at Spinelli's. If you do, don't skip the brining step.